Dagohoy in the States

It was the first day of school in Washington, D.C. and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher began, "Let's review some American history, class. Who said 'Give me liberty or give me death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good," said the teacher.

"Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Dagohoy: "Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg , 1863," he said.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do." She heard a loud whisper from the back: "Screw the Filipinos." "Who said that?" she demanded. Dagohoy put his hand up. "General John Pershing, Manila , 1896."

At that point, Jack, another student said, "I'm going to puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now who said that?" Again Dagohoy answered, "George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo , 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!!" Dagohoy jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher at the top of his voice, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office, 1997!"

Someone shouted, "You little shit if you say anything else, I'll kill you." Dagohoy yelled, "Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington, D.C., 2001!"

The teacher fainted.

"I'm outta here!" muttered one student as he sidled to the door. "President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City , December 30, 2002!" Dagohoy responded.

As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, now we're really in big trouble!" "Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Baghdad , May 2003!" Dagohoy bellowed.

"Now, I really have to run," Jack muttered, heading for the exit. "Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!" Dagohoy shouted triumphantly jumping with glee.
Then a burly African-American boy grabbed Dagohoy and strangled him, about to give a fistful to a frightened Dagohoy. Then an Asian boy stood up and shouted, "Hey easy on him. I'M A FILIPINO!" Dagohoy then blurted out before he got socked out, "Fernando Poe, Jr. Manila , January 2004!!!"